Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 12:14 AM
Love hurts. Even if it was just alittle bit.
And even if I have never full experienced it, I know too well that it sucks. I know from others that love waits. Love kills. Love doesn’t move. When it wants to come, it will. and maybe when I wanted it, it went away. And when it came back, I just rejected it. I don’t know. Maybe I feel like I haven’t let anything in. Love is just. A fucked up version of hangman. I don’t wanna keep guessing if I’m getting close, or farther apart. In the end I knew I would just kill you. Love Kills. Even if it was just alittle bit.
It doesn’t mean love is over. It means you’ve learn a thing or two. And maybe it wasn’t worth it, knowing there would be tears and hardship. But you can’t blame yourself or the other person! This thing called love is not seen, not herd, can’t be touched, has no flavour. And yet, it is the cause of all problems. Well most. It brought people together, but also apart. Families love can easily be lost when they made me snap. I feel like, it led to this gap between us.
I didn’t want this to happen. But I think this is the best thing that could happen. Expect the unexpected. I’m stronger than before. That is true. But I wish I wasn’t, knowing that I have this gap between us.
Even if you don’t understand, or won’t know, it would kill me slowly, little by little until I’m able to finally let go. I’m sorry I was a hassle, I’m sorry for being just a toy to you, and I’m sorry for letting my self down.
I’ve learned too much to be able to experience it. Scared of love much? More like. Scared of relation i.e friends, family. Afraid to lose, yet afraid to not try. Sigh.